Life brings about powerful life changes and I find I’m reflecting on these touchstones of truth, as another year passes by…..
1 – Break up with the way things have always been done.
Through all of our past conditioning, we are taught how we need to react or play out roles in our daily lives. We are taught how we need to act in the supermarket, how we need to act on vacation, how we need to act during breakups and so on. These are all based on past beliefs that we have been taught by the society that surrounded us.
We need to stop and ask ourselves in situations that we find ourselves in, who am I embodying here? Is this me or is this my parents that I’m reacting with? Is this how I choose to do this or to embody this?
We need to let go of the way that we have been taught things have to be done. We are the ones that decide how we react and act in our lives. We are the one who chooses our own destiny.
As we burn down the house of cards that is the past and scatter the ashes to the four winds we are afforded the luxury to do and think things in a new way. We are given the chance to build the world how we see fit and the first step to this is letting go the limiting things that we have been taught by people who didn’t know any better what they were teaching us.
Let go of the past masks and walk proudly wearing your own face.
2 – Stop needing things to be perfect.
Sometimes things aren’t going to be clean-cut or straightforward. Sometimes we have to just deal with that and keep moving.
We’re conditioned to believe that things need to be perfectly solved or we need to be perfectly perfect before we do anything. We’re told we need to be in beach body shape before Summer. That we need to lose that last five pounds to find love. That we need to solve every issue we have before we can look to be happy. That we’re no good as we are and we need to be more. That’s just simply not true.
Yes, we all have projects we are working on in our lives and within ourselves, but we need to move forward despite being a work in progress. And its ok to always be working on something, but it’s also all right not to be. You’re perfect where you are. You don’t need to be anyone other than who you are to live the life that you want. Embrace the body that you have, embrace your imperfect perfection.
As a society we’ve become obsessed with always needing to be doing, learning, becoming. There is nothing wrong with who you are in this moment. And if you chose to evolve down a new path that’s amazing. But there is so much beauty in all that you are here.
3 – Listen to your heart.
We’re programmed to think logically and leave our heart out of the equation. We are taught to use all of the information available to make the most sensible choice and decision, to override gut instinct, intuition and our inner compass. We’re taught to silence the whispers that rise from our hearts.
As I get older, the more I connect with the wise wisdom that calls from the depths of my heart. I see the sage advice that is gifted to me from this lifelong friend and I honor it instead of question or bury it.
Our heart and our emotions bring us key information in how we are feeling about our life, our relationships and our world. If we’re not in touch with how we are feeling, we are missing out on some vital keys to living our life in happiness. If you are being called to love, love deeper than you ever have before. If you are being called to time alone to think, honor that. Our heart knows what we need.
Listen to your guidance and see what unfolds, see how things shift instead of just letting the rigidity of your mind make all the calls.
4 – Find the root behind excuses & feelings.
When I decided to stop making excuses in my life, I decided to take a deep look at the excuses that I kept telling myself. I was struck with the powerful truth of looking past the old stories I kept dredging up and seeing the feelings that lay dormant at their root. It was time to shake the dirt off, pull up the excuses and get face to face with the feelings that were causing everything.
When we pull up the excuses and look at their core, we start to see the foundations for what is creating them which means we are able to deal with them. When they lay dormant, all they’re doing is hiding.
For example something someone told me the other day in conversation, I can’t go back to school I’m too old. This of course isn’t true. In a youth obsessed culture, there seems to be an expiry date on what it is perceived we can and can’t do.
Most of the people who I know who have connected with a career or life path a little older have been extremely happy because they know themselves so much better than when they are younger and make a choice based on deeper truth. This isn’t to say that you couldn’t be that tapped in younger, but through the years they spent in their skin they knew deeper what they did and didn’t want.
Another one I was told the other day was that someone said they were too old to get remarried. My great-grandfather was married to his 2nd and 3rd wife in his 80’s and 90’s. There is no such thing as too late or too old for anything.
5 – It’s about balance, not perfection.
Cold tea and cookies are ok for breakfast every once in a while just like honoring your nutritional needs the rest of the time is good. There’s nothing wrong with skipping a walk if you don’t feel like it and watching cartoons on the couch. It’s about balance not perfection.
We’re taught we need to beat ourselves up when we “fall off the bandwagon” and don’t adhere to some sort of perfect way of embodying our world. Nothing is perfect, and we certainly were never meant to be. We’re human. Trying to perfect away being human is kinda like trying to side step the whole human experience all together.
It’s ok to not fit into some over polished ideal of what life is supposed to look like. Life is meant to be real not an airbrushed highlight reel.
6 – Don’t walk away when something you want is on the table.
If there is something you want, go for it. Submit that article. Ask that person out. Book that solo trip. Order that second latte. Don’t let the call go unanswered.
Ask yourself this, if you never ask or do what is rising for you, are you ok with never having it? Are you fine with that? If even a tiny part of you answers with a hell no, then you need to do it.
Sometimes to follow the things that we want, we have to scare ourselves a little. This little jolt is a wake up call to our dormant system. It shakes our day-to-day survival system back to life and wakes us up.
As humans we can convince ourselves of anything. We’re good like that. Even when we want something so badly we can taste it, we sometimes convince ourselves that it’s better leaving it a dream.
This is your life. You have the power to create anything you want. Don’t walk away when something you badly want is on the table. If there is something that you love, you owe it to yourself to try.
Most of the time we believe in some tall tale about our unworthiness of it or some societal held belief that we shouldn’t have it for some reason. I am a firm believer that there is deep wisdom in honoring what calls to our spirits and seeing where it leads.
Sometimes we fear rejection the most in walking towards the flames of some long-held desire. Better to live with the after burn than to live with never knowing. It’s worth it.
7 – Clear away artificiality.
Stop accepting artificiality in food, in relationships, in jobs, in people and in yourself. In every breath you are nurturing your world and feeding yourself, your dreams and intentions. What diet are you digesting to nourish them? what we surround ourselves with we become.
A quote by Jim Rohn reads: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This suggests that who we surround ourselves with is just as important and what we digest internally for nourishment, which I fully believe.
Are your partnerships feeding you? Is your job nurturing you? Break up with artificiality and embrace deep, soul nourishment for all aspects of your life. Surround yourself with those who inspire you, cheer you on, see your magic and your medicine. Surround yourself with a rich banquet of spirits who see how amazing you truly are.
8 – It’s ok to not know.
I used to think I had to have all the answers in every situation.
It is a very deep and powerful place to not have all of the answers right now and be ok with that. To trust that it’s all going to work out but right now you’re just uncertain how it’s all going to take shape.
We don’t have control over everything. Sometimes in our need to perfectly manicure the outcome we close many of the doors that are open to us. So sometimes the best thing that we can do is breathe and relax into the unfolding. Something so much better than you ever could have imagined could be on its way to you.
9 – It’s ok to be alone.
Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world. In fact, one thing I’ve learned is that you just might drop into a deeper love and acceptance of yourself, your talents and your awesomeness.
When we can come to a place where we relish our own company, I feel we come to a place of authenticity where we are able to welcome in those that would resonate with us in truth. We value our time more and the emotional and time commitments that we engage in. We’re clearer on our boundaries, our needs and our wants. This is a deep place of acceptance and self-love.
That’s not to say that you need to be alone forever. We’re social creatures and we’re designed to pair up and bond with others. But think of how much clearer you will be after this deep dive into the depths of your own soul.
10 – Embrace your truth.
We are all a little wild/weird/different/silly. The sad part is so many of us never let this part of ourselves out to play. It’s like we lock our inner child away for being guilty of nothing more than being ourselves.
Embracing our truth and our medicine is more than just embracing the tangible gifts that we are here to bring into being like art, music or writing. It’s about embracing all the aspects that comprise our spirit and our heart.
It’s about taking the time to acknowledge and embrace the silliness, the weirdness that makes you YOU. Be crazy. Make some noise. Live outside the box. Dance to the beat of your own drum. Do things that scare you a little. It’s ok, you may inspire someone to do the same.
11 – Celebrate right now.
Celebrate yourself before the last 10 pounds come off and before you get the big promotion. Celebrate the time before the big move, the big love or the big decision. Celebrate the accomplishments before the book is published and before the next big gig.
We get stingy with celebrating things and save it for the “big times”. But really, in the grand scheme of things, each day is a pretty big deal. Each day you are accomplishing so much just by showing up and shining your light in this world. So why not take the time during the pauses between these landmarks to celebrate where you are now.
~ by C. Ara Campbell