“And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment.”

Plato 2,500 years ago…

The term ‘soulmates’ has become very well know and well used in our vocabularies today. I would like to share with you my personal definitions and thoughts of this word.

“A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life.” (Thomas Moore).

All the clichés about love at first sight arise from the real experience of this [this link takes you to a further explanation of soul contracts] recognizing someone we love from a past life. The intense and immediate sense of intimacy in such a connection is powerful, and throughout the years it has become obvious through my spiritual reading work that everyone wants to have a magical soul mate experience. The usual questions cover a range of course, from, “Will I ever find my soul mate?” to “Is he/she my soul mate?” to, “I thought he/she was my soul mate, what happened?”

It is a very powerful experience when you look into the eyes of someone you’ve just met and feel you’ve known this person forever. Chances are that you have known this person and have spent numerous lifetimes together. and now, in this incarnation, you’re reconnecting again. This person may end up being your lover, spouse, or at least a dear friend or NOT. These are what are referred to as soulmates; and there seems to be more and more recognition and acknowledgement of these special ‘connections’ happening in our daily lives these past few years.

This is the general terminology used to describe soul mate….spouse/lover, relative or dear friend. This sense of immediate connection arises from unconscious or soul memories of previous loving experiences. A “soul mate,” then, is someone with whom we have shared many loving past life experiences. If we look at all the people we’ve loved long and well in this lifetime alone, it becomes clear that we are not limited to just one “soul mate” for all eternity, or even for each lifetime.

However, I like to make the distinction between terms, as I like to refer to soulmates as a spouse or lover and all other very close relations as being ‘kindred spirits’-those with whom we’ve spent many lifetimes together and who share a close bond, but have no physical intimacy with. A ‘twin flame’ is someone who is so exactly like you. it’s as if you came from the same cosmic mold and can actually be very overwhelming and UNCOMFORTABLE! This is a most powerful bond and one that is much more rare and hard to explain. Suffice it to say, I don’t personally believe that too many people actually get to experience their ‘twin flame’ in the physical world.

We are all spiritual beings-regardless of our ‘status’ on this plane-and we all belong to what is called ‘soul groups’. Soul groups are a group or cluster of souls who repeatedly incarnate together. and help one another. on this earthy plan. There are many, many reasons for this but it all boils down to soul development and growth and ‘contracts’ that we have agreed to prior to incarnation.

It is also true that some people we have negative feelings towards are here to help us grow too. and we’ve most likely had past life experiences with them as well. If you’ve encountered someone whom you disliked immediately, you probably had a negative experience with this person in a past life. and, ideally, the situation is being or will be rectified and the ‘karma’ burned or balanced. I learned more from some of my most ‘challenging’ relationships than from many other pleasant ones, and it is said too, somewhere that our greatest enemies are also our greatest teachers. Remember, we all came here to learn, heal and grow as we move toward Enlightenment and Unconditional Love. and some may have had more lifetimes than others, but I do not believe in ‘spiritual snobbery’…just because someone may seem or act ‘less than ‘Spiritual’ gives us no right to judge them as good or bad, less or more of a person, only DIFFERENT and EXACTLY where they need to be for their OWN growth and learning.

In terms of relationship issues, some people think that something is ‘wrong’, because relationships never seem to work out. or they may not have one at all. What is usually the case if you are not finding and STAYING with ‘the one’ so to speak, is that one is being ‘reserved’ for that special soul connection that you are destined to be in. So it may happen that one experiences a period of time without being in a relationship or may find a series of short lived connections. Unfortunately, one can rarely predict when their special soul connection may occur. It may happen early in life. or much later or possibly not at all. I always feel that ANY relationship should be viewed as ‘the one’ at the time. We are ALWAYS with the ‘significant’ other’ in our lives for a REASON. It may not be for a lifetime or even for a long time. If we can start to look at all our relationships and especially our intimate ones as ‘lessons’ whether they are easy or HARD, it can become easier to see a pattern and learn to figure out WHY and WHAT we need to learn. I feel personally, we are with exactly who we need to be with ( or not, for that matter, if we are in a period of aloneness).

Now, however, I’m seeing and even experiencing myself, clear evidence of more and more soul connecting taking place as we have now entered the so called ‘Aquarian Age’. This is due to the fact that we are becoming more ‘spiritually realized’ beings on a conscious level; and being in a loving, soul centered relationship if far more important and relevant. What an wonderful times we are living in!…whether you are with your soul mate, looking for that person or not even sure what it is. The BEST way to attract good and loving relationships is to work on yourself and be all that you can be for YOU. I firmly believe also, that we attract ‘similar’ energies to ourselves to mirror and grow by. If we are not balanced and secure within ourselves, chances are we will attract people of similar states. Often times too, we may meet a soul mate and although all the right ‘ingredients’ are there, fear, guilt, and human emotion can tear them away from us. There are as many reasons for a relationship NOT to work as for it to work. Even if you do meet a potential ‘soul mate’ there is never any guarantee that it will be easy or lasting.

People often ask, how do I recognize or know that I have found my soul mate? Oh a physical level, I personally find the eyes, hands and the sound of one’s voice to be the most telling indicator of a soul mate or kindred spirit. The eyes are so familiar. and seem to ‘see’ into our very soul…know us without knowing us. There is also something very familiar and ‘haunting’ about the sound of the voice. and the look, feel and movement of the hands. It is a feeling of being with an old friend…like you just saw each other ‘yesterday’. The feeling of IMMEDIATE ‘comfort’ or even ‘discomfort’ upon looking into the persons eyes, speaking with them. It is really hard to put the ‘feeling’ into words…but I can guarantee you just KNOW it when you experience it.

On a deeper level, a soul mate or kindred spirit is someone you readily feel a profound sense of trust, comfort, and ease. You can often communicate without words. where one seems to know what the other is thinking or about to say. There is a deep knowing. and certainty between you. that there is, indeed, a special bond. and that love will continue to grow and evolve.

If you feel you’ve connected with a soul mate or kindred spirit. believe in it and trust in Spirit to speak divine Truth to you through your own heart and intuition. You have got a direct link with the divine Source; and divine Wisdom, Truth and Love will be revealed through your heart more than by any other means. For ‘it is only through the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.’ Nobody can tell you any better or clearer than what your own intuition can rely in a matter of a ‘split second’ and as you learn to follow that feeling, it will guide you to your soulmates, kindred spirits and ultimately maybe even your ‘twin flame’.

Also understand this. We are creators. As creators, we are not so much here to discover or “find” our fates as we are here to CREATE our destinies. We have free will. We are inventing new possibilities with every decision we make, every idea we imagine, every desire we allow to flow through us. Rather than trying to recreate a type of relationship we’ve read about or seen in the movies, we might aim to create new levels of intimacy, deeper layers of passion, stronger bonds of Love based on our OWN needs in THIS lifetime. For those who want to love deeply, passionately and well, I recommend we spend less time “looking for” our soulmates, and more time CREATING them. These spiritual bonds must begin somewhere and somehow. Although we DO create them in EVERY LIFETIME, why not here and now?